God Has a Plan For Me: My Testimony

This testimony originally shared at Gospel Light Church by Jason Bergeron on March 16th, 2025

Introduction

We all have moments that define us. Some beautiful, some painful, and some that make no sense until much later. I’ve learned that the common thread through them all is God’s plan.

There are so many times I should have been gone, broken, or lost beyond repair; But God had a plan. There were moments when I was angry, stubborn, and certain that I was beyond His reach. But God had a plan.

This is my story. Not a story about how I fixed myself, but about how God reached into the mess of my life and turned it into something new. There are some things in here that are tough to share. There are some things in here that may make some folks “clutch their pearls”. But I think if you can read with an open mind and without judgement, you can see the power of God in this testimony. Everything I write here is meant to glorify God, not me or what I've done.

Early Life and Broken Foundations

I grew up in a military family. Moving every couple of years meant nine different schools in three states before I even graduated high school. My parents divorced when I was eight, and both later remarried. That gave me more siblings and more homes to bounce between, but it also left me feeling like I didn’t really belong anywhere.

My dad was an alcoholic, and still is as far as I know. Life around him was unpredictable. Sometimes fun and loud, sometimes terrifying. One night might be all jokes and music; the next could be shouting, broken things, or being woken up at two in the morning because my room wasn’t clean enough. I didn’t see him for several years in my pre-teen years, but the fear stuck with me.

As a kid, I learned early that control and anger could keep you from getting hurt. Or at least that’s what I thought. It took years to unlearn that anger and lashing out wasn’t the only tool in my toolbox.

God’s Hand Before I Knew Him

Looking back, I can see how many times God protected me long before I ever acknowledged Him.

When I was barely four, I fell down a full flight of basement stairs and hit the concrete floor. By the time the first responders arrived, I was ok and eating a lollipop.

A few years later, I cracked my head open falling off a bulldozer and whacking my head on the big push blade on the front. The blood poured and I got 5 staples as a result. I can still remember the taste and dazed feeling you get when you hit your head really hard.

When I was twelve, I wiped out on my bike, hit my head, blacked out, and somehow walked half a mile to a friend’s house without remembering any of it. That’s three head injuries before middle school and I’m still here. Much later in life I had an MRI on my head for some headaches I was having, but they didn’t find anything (Ha Ha!). In all seriousness, it was a huge relief to get a clean bill of health with no evidence of any sort of injury. My grandmother used to joke that I just had a hard head. I could have been left with severe injuries but God had other plans.

Between the ages of four and thirteen, there were also darker moments. There were things no child should ever have to endure. They left me confused, hurt, and questioning my worth. These darker moments were a part of my life, not isolated incidents. They were things I learned to expect. I didn’t see it then, but even in those moments, God’s hand was there. What the enemy meant to destroy me, God used to shape compassion and understanding I couldn’t possibly have had otherwise.

Those experiences didn’t define me, but they did break something in me. And when you don’t know how to heal, you start trying to numb the pain.

Running from God

By fourteen, I got high for the first time. At first it was curiosity, then escape, then habit. By the time I finished high school, if I was awake, I was high. At first it was marajuana. Eventually though, that wasn’t enough. Cocaine, Meth, all sorts of pills. I did almost anything I could get my hands on.

That life came with plenty of consequences. More than thirty speeding tickets, wrecked cars, a revoked license, a weekend in jail, and more hurt than I care to admit. I was reckless, selfish, and angry. Whenever I’d sober up, all the pain I’d been avoiding came flooding back, and I’d reach for something to silence it again.

I wasn’t chasing fun; I was chasing numb. I told myself I was in control, but deep down, I was spiraling. Even then, God had a plan.

God’s Plan in Motion

Somewhere along the way, I met Dana. We started dating around 2002. She’s patient, steady, and somehow saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself.

Dana started literally dragging me to church. The church I attend now, Gospel Light. We’d sit right up front, second row. I remember thinking, “Why are we all the way up here? There’s plenty of room in the back!”

I wasn’t used to that kind of church. I grew up Catholic, where everything felt dark and solemn. Gospel Light felt bright and alive. It felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want to be there. But Dana made it abundantly clear that if I was going to continue enjoying her company, then I was going to church on Sunday mornings.

I’d sit through Pastor Ruffin’s sermons and swear he was talking directly to me. I was convinced there was some kind of conspiracy between him, Dana, and Dana’s mom, Sheila. But it wasn’t them. I know now I was under the conviction of the Holy Spirit. What a powerful feeling.

Still, I was stubborn. Prideful. That hard head of mine wasn’t just physical. God had to do some serious work to get through.

Hitting the Wall

By 2004, Dana and I were struggling in our relationship. I had just started a job with the federal government. It was a good paying job that came with random drug tests. A built-in guardrail I didn’t even know I needed. That along with my false sense of pride meant that I would never let myself mess it up over drugs. That job would later grow into a career, but at the time, it was simply God’s way of cutting off my access to self-destruction.

Not long after, my dad called and told me to pack up and move out via voicemail. This happened pretty abruptly and before I really had a chance to get on my feet. I felt abandoned all over again. Dana and I moved into a little single-wide trailer in Kinston, convinced we had life figured out. Spoiler alert: we didn’t.

We were on the verge of splitting up when God finally got through to me.

The Moment Everything Changed

One night, after another argument, I blurted out that I wanted “to know what that thing was” I kept hearing about at church. I didn’t even have the words for it, but I knew I wanted whatever it was.

Dana didn’t hesitate. The arguing stopped immediately and she picked up the phone, called her Uncle DJ, and within minutes we were sitting in his living room. He shared the Gospel with me. Simple, clear, true, impossible to resist. And that night, June 28, 2004, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.

I really wasn’t sure what to expect next. I mostly felt anxious and waiting for the next step. I could feel my pride falling. For the first time in a very long time, I felt a glimmer of hope. I felt that I could do anything.

But now I had a new problem. Dana and I were living together. Shacking up as they say. So…

A week later, on July 5, Dana and I got married. Looking back, I can see how God orchestrated every step. He took two broken people, gave them a foundation, and said, “Now walk with Me.” He had a plan.

The Long Road of Growth

Salvation wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. God gave me a new heart, but I still had plenty of old habits to unlearn.

The years after that were rocky. I had a temper. I broke things in anger. I carried the same fear and control I learned growing up into my own marriage. I didn’t see it at the time, but I was making Dana live with the same anxiety I had felt as a kid.

At work, I got into arguments I shouldn’t have. I was proud, hot-headed, and impatient. But God was patient. He kept surrounding me with people who showed me grace even when I didn’t deserve it.

Around that time, we moved to Havelock to be closer to my job. Gas prices went up, and we eventually stopped driving back to Gospel Light every Sunday. We tried several churches nearby, but none felt right. So we stopped going for a while. Not the right thing to do, but even then, God had a plan.

In 2009, we moved back home to Trenton, to the house we’re still in today. That same year marked another shift. A shift that would show me just how faithful God really is.

Fatherhood and Perspective

Around 2010, Dana and I decided to start a family. When our daughter, Layla, was born that November, it changed everything.

I’ll never forget the moment I saw her for the first time. Dana had an emergency C-section, and Layla had to be “bagged” when she was born. For about an hour, it was just me and Layla in the nursery. I got to wash her, rub her little face, and talk to her while she cried under the warmer. That hour is still burned into my memory and is one of the most cherished memories I have.

When people joke about which child is the favorite, the answer depends on how much of a pain they were that day. But the truth is, you love each one differently. God knew exactly what He was doing giving me a daughter first. She softened my heart in ways nothing else could have.

Three years later, we found out Dana was pregnant with our son, Seth. Early on, the doctors discovered an issue with one of his kidneys. More stress. More uncertainty. But also more opportunity to trust God.

Seth’s first few years included multiple surgeries, endless tests, and more nights at Duke Hospital and the Ronald McDonald House than I can count. Each time, God provided. Each time, He reminded us that He was in control.

Transformation Through Work and Healing

In 2013, right before Seth was born, I got promoted into a quality position at work. It was the start of a chain reaction that would completely change my career and my life.

See, I’ve always been a “computer guy.” I went to school for automotive technology, but tech was my real passion. When my department needed someone to support the software they used, I volunteered. One project led to another, and before long, I was helping lead digital initiatives that eventually opened doors I never could’ve imagined.

From mechanic to Quality Inspector, to digital transformation roles that reach across the Navy’s depots. None of that was my plan. But it was part of God’s plan.

During that same time, God was also working on me at home. My temper was still a problem. One morning in 2016, I lost control and spanked Layla when she didn’t deserve it. It broke me. I saw in that moment the same anger I’d hated in my own father, staring back at me in the mirror.

That’s when I started therapy. It wasn’t easy, but it helped. Talking to someone about the past, about patterns I didn’t even realize I’d carried, helped me understand how God heals. Not just spiritually, but mentally and emotionally too.

And wouldn’t you know it, my professional growth and personal healing happened almost in parallel. These new roles put me around some really good people with extremely positive influence. God was restoring order in every part of my life.

God’s Still Working on Me

From 2017 through today, God has continued shaping me. He’s teaching me patience, humility, and peace. I don’t respond the same way I used to. I still get frustrated, sure, but I’m not chasing people down the highway wishing they’d pull over or throwing laptops through doorframes anymore.

I’m calmer. More self-aware. And when I do mess up, I try to deal with it right away. Like my former pastor used to say: “Keep short accounts with God.”

Being saved doesn’t make you perfect. It makes you different. It literally makes you Holy. Holy means “set apart”. Having the Holy Spirit live inside you, convict you and guide you certainly sets you apart.

That’s where my “dirt in the house” analogy comes in.

When you accept Jesus, it’s like opening your front door to a house that’s filled floor-to-ceiling with dirt. You can’t close that door again, it’s open now and the dirt is flowing out and making it so the door can’t be closed. The open door is salvation. The dirt represents your old habits, sins, and scars. God doesn’t expect you to clean it all out in a day. He hands you a shovel, then a broom, then a rag, then maybe a detail brush. Every step of the cleanup takes longer and goes deeper. But He stays right there with you the whole time.

And every time you think, “Surely there can’t be more dirt,” He shows you another corner you hadn’t noticed yet and helps you clean that too. And if you stop cleaning, stop removing the dirt from your house, it’ll start to pile up again.

That’s what sanctification is. It’s not about perfection. It’s about persistence. And every time I get frustrated with how slow I’m growing, I remember: God’s not finished with me yet.

What I’ve Learned About God

I’ve learned to pray anywhere. I pray on the mower, in the car, walking down the street. Prayer isn’t about posture or timing; it’s about presence. I don’t talk to God as much as I talk with Him. When I am thinking about things, I do it with a voice that God can hear. He’s listening, but he won’t receive if you’re not directing it to Him.

I’ve learned to pray for peace instead of strength. Strength means more battles. Peace means trust. I’ve never prayed for peace and not gotten it.

I’ve learned that when God changes your heart, He also changes your perspective. You start to see His hand in the details. The moments that once felt like detours start to look like design.

I’ve learned that love, the real kind, always involves patience and humility. The same grace I received is the grace I have to extend.

And I’ve learned that I’ll never be “done.” Not in this life. Every day is another chance to keep cleaning out the dirt.

God’s Plan and the Gift of Salvation

If you’ve never accepted Jesus as your Savior, I want you to know that He’s waiting for you. Not with judgment, but with open arms.

Romans 3:23 reminds us, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Romans 5:8 shows us God’s heart: “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

And Romans 10:9 makes it simple: “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

Realize you’re a sinner, desire to be forgiven, believe Jesus came and died for your sins and rose from the dead, accept Him as your personal Saviour, confess it out loud, and you are saved.

That’s it. That’s the Gospel. That’s what changed my life. And it can change yours too.

Closing Reflection

It’s been more than twenty years since that night in June 2004, and God’s still writing my story. He’s still working, still refining, still teaching me.

Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

That’s my life verse now. Because transformation doesn’t happen overnight, it happens daily.

Everything I’ve gone through, good or bad, has shown me one thing:

God has a plan for me.

And if He can use someone like me: hard-headed, broken, and flawed… then there’s no doubt He’s got a plan for you too.